I cannot tell you how much this series of posts has meant to me. As a fellow "Despacio Disciple", and through a desire to adhere to + apply core tenets to dancefloors I aim to create, reading YOUR firsthand accounts of these spaces is crucial. Last time I was in Germany was 2017, denied at Tresor on the first try and tried again 30 minutes later with success. Did not dare try Berghain and I know I would not have appreciated it. You care about the essence of the floor more than anyone I have ever met, and your diligence to uncovering and exulting the floors that fire on all cylinders is incredible. Keep it up, as you inspire more people than you could imagine.
This comment made me feel warm all over. I am so grateful for your readership and friendship! Can't wait until we're sharing a dancefloor again -- either Chancla or Despacio ... or both!
This post is quite a read, so I'm only half-way through right now, just got to the section about connected dancefloors, and I'll drop comments as I go.
I wonder, how much do you feel that being on psychadelics influences that feeling of connected-ness? When I think back to those extremely rare moments when I felt truly connected with the people dancing around me, it was at least 5 or 6 hours into the dance and I was on at least 2 hits of LSD and a redose of MDMA by that point - and specifically LSD, mushrooms never made me feel as connected with the people around me (though it does make me feel more connected to nature).
Also, when you are dancing and not facing the DJ, where do you look? Except for a passing glance and a smile (which is a big part of feeling the magic, because it shows that we are sharing the same good vibes), it creeps me out to make prolonged eye contact with other people on the dancefloor - especially when I have my rage-face on. Obviously sunglasses help a lot in this regard. My two reasons for usually facing the DJ are, 1 it avoids eye contact with people, and 2 that's where the main speakers usually are. The exception being if there are multiple speaker stacks, in which case I usually dance facing one from 10 feet away, or if there is no space, then I will dance with my back against the speaker and facing out into the crowd (in NYC, speaker stacks are uncommon because dancefloors are so small, except at Nowadays and Danny T's STAX series... and maybe Basement, but I never go there)
I don't make prolonged eye contact with folks -- I just look this way and that and naturally move my head and body so that my eyes are never resting on one person too long. It's pretty natural. And of course there are many occasions where I am directly interacting with others -- not least of which is when I'm fanning everyone around me. But I think it's pretty easy to kind of be in a crowd of people and not be too intimate with looks / glances. It helps to look over people's heads or shoulders so that when I'm facing them they don't feel I'm about to try to talk to them or whatever.
I think the psychs definitely enhance that feeling of connectedness, but even sober it's there. LSD/Shrooms in particular make me really emotionally available and open -- not to the same extent as adding molly to the mix -- but to a very great degree.
There were times on Friday night where people inserted themselves into the space right in front of me when I was facing away from the DJ ... and because they had done it rudely, I then used my facing to make it uncomfortable for them to be that close. A stare at those times helped them understand that they had just been rude and needed to give me space.
also worth noting that the acoustics become a lot harder to manage with multiple speaker stacks, not only due to comb filtering but also because the delay on a larger dancefloor can make the beats sound out-of-sync
Totally. It's a really tough room to get right -- I don't envy the sound engineers, and don't want to sound like I could do a better job. It's extremely challenging as a room. But I have to believe that there's a solution for fixing the bass issue.
Getting a cigarette burn is one of my biggest dancefloor fears. It has happened once or twice over the years, but nothing too bad. I never smoked and I absolutely hate the smell, and I hate how it permeates my skin and clothing and hair - yuck! The smoke can be *really* overwhelming in the Berlin clubs, especially later in the party when people are really amped up on stronger stimulant drugs (meth especially). I love to wear latex out to the clurbs, especially going from gummi night at Lab to KN right afterwards, but latex really absorbs tobacco smoke and is hard/impossible to wash out... and I would absolutely die inside if my expensive outfit got a burn hole in it. Fortunately(?) I can only do about 12 hours in a catsuit before it becomes unbearable, so while I am in Berlin I spend a few hours looking fashionable and then go peel it off before returning to the party. Wearing latex is even more fun here in Brooklyn because so few people wear it.
Speaking of cigs - I find it interesting how everybody in Berlin hand-rolls them. I've never seen anyone with a pack of cigs bought from a store - maybe they aren't sold in packs, or more likely they're taxed insanely high? My first visit to Berlin in 2019, before weed was legal in New York, I thought everybody was rolling marijuana... I soon learned that weed is a lot less popular over there, and often very low quality.
I hadn't even considered the dangers of burns to latex wearers. Those suits seem like they get really expensive and I'd be so pissed if my fancy gear got burned by someone's carelessness.
The smoke really was overwhelming -- it's now three weeks later and I still have a bit of a cough that hasn't cleared up completely. It's probably the single worst thing about Berghain. I loved almost everything, but not the smoke.
Here's what search said about the RYO (roll your own) cigarette thing:
"Cost-Effectiveness: Roll-your-own tobacco is generally subject to lower taxes than factory-made cigarettes, making it a cheaper option for smokers.
Cultural Preference: Some smokers find the act of rolling cigarettes appealing, perhaps associating it with a certain lifestyle or a sense of individuality.
Perceived Health Benefits (Misconception): Some smokers mistakenly believe that RYO cigarettes are less harmful than factory-made ones, although this is not true.
Smoking Prevalence in Germany: Smoking is relatively widespread in Germany, and the country has been referred to as a "smoker's paradise" due to its lax regulations and lower tobacco taxes compared to other European countries. "
Nitpick, but the windows from Pano face south-southwest (in at least two places you say they face east). The ones by the smoking area / toilets (shown in the C|O flyer with the deer) face east (and get incredible morning sunlight).
I love the fan trick for parting a crowd! Gonna steal that one :)
Awesome, thank you! I looked at Google maps and images to try to figure out the orientation of the windows. I clearly got it wrong. Thanks for correcting me!
Best thing I’ve read all week - and I’m deep in master’s essay territory, so I’ve read a lot. Erudite, witty, insightful, moving… it’s almost too much! (Also your photos in their utter pointlessness make their own point about visual culture.)
I’ve been on plenty of dancefloors with cishet guys but never experienced what you describe. It honestly sounds horrific, like being on a late commuter train plus some movement. What do you attribute the veiled aggression and sexualisation to? Booze? Phone? These (*sigh) times? Normative culture’s stranglehold? Because honestly your description sounds like exactly what we were trying to get away from via the rave scene in the early 90s. I’m sure those attitudes were there, but they had to yield in the face of a really different paradigm: the dancefloor was simply for dancing. I never once felt threatened or unsafe. Weird vibes from one or two people - and there’s always a few - were taken care of by the peaceful, accepting, loving vibes of the majority of the people.
And the fan vignettes made me tear up a little. (Love that there was a DJ called Ffan yoo.) This is the point, right? Humans together can find creative ways of giving each other what we need. It takes a little effort, either from the wrists or the mind, and we do it anyway because it’s the right thing to do. That small act is received and reciprocated and everyone is enriched for it. This what a dancefloor is for and this is way rave culture is so important: it lets us know feel in our bodies that there are other ways of being. And that they feel amazing.
Hopefully part 4 drops in the midst of my slogging through Foucault etc.
I had a mixed experience at my last Klubnacht and wanted to share it here to get some advice. The night itself had its highs, but one thing really killed my vibe: too many straight guys who wouldn’t respect boundaries.
I’m used to Berghain being a space where I feel safe and free, but last night, I kept running into guys who wouldn’t take a hint—staring, talking way too much when I wasn’t engaging, and even touching without any sign of my consent. Nothing horrible happened, so I didn’t feel like I could justify calling security on them, but over hours, it really started to feel like a low-level form of harassment. I just wanted to dance and lose myself in the music, but instead, I found myself constantly on guard.
From some posts here, I saw that other girls had similar experiences last night. So I wanted to ask—how do you handle this? Do you say something directly?And at what point would you actually involve security? I don’t want to be dramatic, but I also don’t want to just accept that this is becoming more common.
Would love to hear how others deal with this. Thanks!"
I think they don't know how to *be* in a space that's so clearly not for them, and so the ones that are with someone get overly protective, whereas the ones that are there solo get insecure and homophobic about even accidental touch from other men.
You'll like that DJ ffan's instagram alias is @ffanyourself.
Quoting this for truth: "[Raving] lets us feel in our bodies that there are other ways of being. And that they feel amazing."
Part 4 is a bit wild -- it'll be the first on in the series that's paywalled just because it's a way for me to keep tourists out of something that felt scary to write. But part 5 will be open to all!
This was such an amazingly fun read. You know I made my way here for the music and the dance, but am finding myself staying as much for the word-smithing, the comedy, and the observations keenly made through your unique lens of perception. I laughed out loud enough times while reading this that my girlfriend became curious from the other room as to what was going on in here...lol. The segments on the self-conscious dance-floor giraffe (which somehow reminded me of Kathy Griffin's comedy piece on Paris Hilton walking like a Horse-antula) and using your fan as a sea parter are everything. Thank you. :)
I cannot tell you how much this series of posts has meant to me. As a fellow "Despacio Disciple", and through a desire to adhere to + apply core tenets to dancefloors I aim to create, reading YOUR firsthand accounts of these spaces is crucial. Last time I was in Germany was 2017, denied at Tresor on the first try and tried again 30 minutes later with success. Did not dare try Berghain and I know I would not have appreciated it. You care about the essence of the floor more than anyone I have ever met, and your diligence to uncovering and exulting the floors that fire on all cylinders is incredible. Keep it up, as you inspire more people than you could imagine.
This comment made me feel warm all over. I am so grateful for your readership and friendship! Can't wait until we're sharing a dancefloor again -- either Chancla or Despacio ... or both!
Right back atcha man. Gonna be both this year if we are lucky :)
This post is quite a read, so I'm only half-way through right now, just got to the section about connected dancefloors, and I'll drop comments as I go.
I wonder, how much do you feel that being on psychadelics influences that feeling of connected-ness? When I think back to those extremely rare moments when I felt truly connected with the people dancing around me, it was at least 5 or 6 hours into the dance and I was on at least 2 hits of LSD and a redose of MDMA by that point - and specifically LSD, mushrooms never made me feel as connected with the people around me (though it does make me feel more connected to nature).
Also, when you are dancing and not facing the DJ, where do you look? Except for a passing glance and a smile (which is a big part of feeling the magic, because it shows that we are sharing the same good vibes), it creeps me out to make prolonged eye contact with other people on the dancefloor - especially when I have my rage-face on. Obviously sunglasses help a lot in this regard. My two reasons for usually facing the DJ are, 1 it avoids eye contact with people, and 2 that's where the main speakers usually are. The exception being if there are multiple speaker stacks, in which case I usually dance facing one from 10 feet away, or if there is no space, then I will dance with my back against the speaker and facing out into the crowd (in NYC, speaker stacks are uncommon because dancefloors are so small, except at Nowadays and Danny T's STAX series... and maybe Basement, but I never go there)
I don't make prolonged eye contact with folks -- I just look this way and that and naturally move my head and body so that my eyes are never resting on one person too long. It's pretty natural. And of course there are many occasions where I am directly interacting with others -- not least of which is when I'm fanning everyone around me. But I think it's pretty easy to kind of be in a crowd of people and not be too intimate with looks / glances. It helps to look over people's heads or shoulders so that when I'm facing them they don't feel I'm about to try to talk to them or whatever.
I think the psychs definitely enhance that feeling of connectedness, but even sober it's there. LSD/Shrooms in particular make me really emotionally available and open -- not to the same extent as adding molly to the mix -- but to a very great degree.
There were times on Friday night where people inserted themselves into the space right in front of me when I was facing away from the DJ ... and because they had done it rudely, I then used my facing to make it uncomfortable for them to be that close. A stare at those times helped them understand that they had just been rude and needed to give me space.
also worth noting that the acoustics become a lot harder to manage with multiple speaker stacks, not only due to comb filtering but also because the delay on a larger dancefloor can make the beats sound out-of-sync
Totally. It's a really tough room to get right -- I don't envy the sound engineers, and don't want to sound like I could do a better job. It's extremely challenging as a room. But I have to believe that there's a solution for fixing the bass issue.
Getting a cigarette burn is one of my biggest dancefloor fears. It has happened once or twice over the years, but nothing too bad. I never smoked and I absolutely hate the smell, and I hate how it permeates my skin and clothing and hair - yuck! The smoke can be *really* overwhelming in the Berlin clubs, especially later in the party when people are really amped up on stronger stimulant drugs (meth especially). I love to wear latex out to the clurbs, especially going from gummi night at Lab to KN right afterwards, but latex really absorbs tobacco smoke and is hard/impossible to wash out... and I would absolutely die inside if my expensive outfit got a burn hole in it. Fortunately(?) I can only do about 12 hours in a catsuit before it becomes unbearable, so while I am in Berlin I spend a few hours looking fashionable and then go peel it off before returning to the party. Wearing latex is even more fun here in Brooklyn because so few people wear it.
Speaking of cigs - I find it interesting how everybody in Berlin hand-rolls them. I've never seen anyone with a pack of cigs bought from a store - maybe they aren't sold in packs, or more likely they're taxed insanely high? My first visit to Berlin in 2019, before weed was legal in New York, I thought everybody was rolling marijuana... I soon learned that weed is a lot less popular over there, and often very low quality.
I hadn't even considered the dangers of burns to latex wearers. Those suits seem like they get really expensive and I'd be so pissed if my fancy gear got burned by someone's carelessness.
The smoke really was overwhelming -- it's now three weeks later and I still have a bit of a cough that hasn't cleared up completely. It's probably the single worst thing about Berghain. I loved almost everything, but not the smoke.
Here's what search said about the RYO (roll your own) cigarette thing:
"Cost-Effectiveness: Roll-your-own tobacco is generally subject to lower taxes than factory-made cigarettes, making it a cheaper option for smokers.
Cultural Preference: Some smokers find the act of rolling cigarettes appealing, perhaps associating it with a certain lifestyle or a sense of individuality.
Perceived Health Benefits (Misconception): Some smokers mistakenly believe that RYO cigarettes are less harmful than factory-made ones, although this is not true.
Smoking Prevalence in Germany: Smoking is relatively widespread in Germany, and the country has been referred to as a "smoker's paradise" due to its lax regulations and lower tobacco taxes compared to other European countries. "
Fascinating read! It feels like you’re right there, part of the experience.
i loved reading this so so much!!
sounds like two absolutely beautiful nights. made me emotional..
thank you <3
Nitpick, but the windows from Pano face south-southwest (in at least two places you say they face east). The ones by the smoking area / toilets (shown in the C|O flyer with the deer) face east (and get incredible morning sunlight).
I love the fan trick for parting a crowd! Gonna steal that one :)
Awesome, thank you! I looked at Google maps and images to try to figure out the orientation of the windows. I clearly got it wrong. Thanks for correcting me!
Best thing I’ve read all week - and I’m deep in master’s essay territory, so I’ve read a lot. Erudite, witty, insightful, moving… it’s almost too much! (Also your photos in their utter pointlessness make their own point about visual culture.)
I’ve been on plenty of dancefloors with cishet guys but never experienced what you describe. It honestly sounds horrific, like being on a late commuter train plus some movement. What do you attribute the veiled aggression and sexualisation to? Booze? Phone? These (*sigh) times? Normative culture’s stranglehold? Because honestly your description sounds like exactly what we were trying to get away from via the rave scene in the early 90s. I’m sure those attitudes were there, but they had to yield in the face of a really different paradigm: the dancefloor was simply for dancing. I never once felt threatened or unsafe. Weird vibes from one or two people - and there’s always a few - were taken care of by the peaceful, accepting, loving vibes of the majority of the people.
And the fan vignettes made me tear up a little. (Love that there was a DJ called Ffan yoo.) This is the point, right? Humans together can find creative ways of giving each other what we need. It takes a little effort, either from the wrists or the mind, and we do it anyway because it’s the right thing to do. That small act is received and reciprocated and everyone is enriched for it. This what a dancefloor is for and this is way rave culture is so important: it lets us know feel in our bodies that there are other ways of being. And that they feel amazing.
Hopefully part 4 drops in the midst of my slogging through Foucault etc.
Aww, thank you! I think the het guys at Berghain are just lost and frustrated -- someone posted a reddit thread about their behavior the same weekend I was there: https://www.reddit.com/r/Berghain_Community/comments/1jdcm64/straight_guys_with_no_boundaries_last_kn/
She wrote, "Hey everyone,
I had a mixed experience at my last Klubnacht and wanted to share it here to get some advice. The night itself had its highs, but one thing really killed my vibe: too many straight guys who wouldn’t respect boundaries.
I’m used to Berghain being a space where I feel safe and free, but last night, I kept running into guys who wouldn’t take a hint—staring, talking way too much when I wasn’t engaging, and even touching without any sign of my consent. Nothing horrible happened, so I didn’t feel like I could justify calling security on them, but over hours, it really started to feel like a low-level form of harassment. I just wanted to dance and lose myself in the music, but instead, I found myself constantly on guard.
From some posts here, I saw that other girls had similar experiences last night. So I wanted to ask—how do you handle this? Do you say something directly?And at what point would you actually involve security? I don’t want to be dramatic, but I also don’t want to just accept that this is becoming more common.
Would love to hear how others deal with this. Thanks!"
I think they don't know how to *be* in a space that's so clearly not for them, and so the ones that are with someone get overly protective, whereas the ones that are there solo get insecure and homophobic about even accidental touch from other men.
You'll like that DJ ffan's instagram alias is @ffanyourself.
Quoting this for truth: "[Raving] lets us feel in our bodies that there are other ways of being. And that they feel amazing."
Part 4 is a bit wild -- it'll be the first on in the series that's paywalled just because it's a way for me to keep tourists out of something that felt scary to write. But part 5 will be open to all!
This was such an amazingly fun read. You know I made my way here for the music and the dance, but am finding myself staying as much for the word-smithing, the comedy, and the observations keenly made through your unique lens of perception. I laughed out loud enough times while reading this that my girlfriend became curious from the other room as to what was going on in here...lol. The segments on the self-conscious dance-floor giraffe (which somehow reminded me of Kathy Griffin's comedy piece on Paris Hilton walking like a Horse-antula) and using your fan as a sea parter are everything. Thank you. :)